Take the Friendship Questionnaire

The Friendship Qualities Scale (FQS)

The FQS is a streamlined, 23-item instrument used to score a specific relationship. It is highly prized in research for being direct and fast to complete. 

The Scoring Scale

• 1 = Not at all true
• 2 = A little true
• 3 = Somewhat true
• 4 = Mostly true
• 5 = Really true

The Questionnaire Items 

Category 1: Companionship

1. My friend and I spend a lot of our free time together. ___
2. My friend and I like to do the same kinds of things. ___
3. I miss my friend when they are not around. ___
4. My friend and I find plenty of things to talk about. ___

 Category 2: Conflict

1. My friend and I get into arguments a lot. ___ (Negative subscale)
2. My friend gets mad at me easily. ___ (Negative subscale)
3. My friend and I can argue over small, silly things. ___ (Negative subscale)
4. My friend sometimes bugs or annoys me on purpose. ___ (Negative subscale)

 Category 3: Help / Aid

1. If I am hurt or sick, my friend will try to help me. ___
2. My friend would loan me something if I really needed it. ___
3. My friend helps me finish things or do tasks when I ask. ___
4. My friend gives me good advice when I am confused. ___

 Category 4: Security (Trust & Provisions)

1. If I tell my friend a secret, I know they won't tell anyone else. ___
2. If other people are mean to me, my friend will stick up for me. ___
3. My friend will still care about me even if we have a fight. ___
4. If I feel bad or down, my friend can always make me feel better. ___
5. I can always count on my friend to keep their promises. ___

 Category 5: Closeness (Closeness & Validation)

1. I feel happy when I am hanging out with my friend. ___
2. My friend thinks I am special and important to them. ___
3. I can tell my friend things that I wouldn't tell anyone else. ___
4. My friend likes me for exactly who I am. ___
5. My friend knows when I am upset without me saying anything. ___
6. I feel very close to this person compared to my other friends. ___

How to Score the FQS

• Add up the points for each individual category and divide by the number of questions in that category to get your average score out of 5.
• High scores (4–5) in Companionship, Help, Security, and Closeness mean a healthy bond.
• High scores (4–5) in the Conflict category (Questions 5–8) point to significant tension or unstable boundaries.

The Friendship Network Satisfaction (FNS) Scale.

The FNS scale focuses on your entire social circle rather than just one person. It evaluates whether you feel connected or lonely overall.

The Scoring Scale

• 1 = Strongly Disagree
• 2 = Disagree
• 3 = Neutral
• 4 = Agree
• 5 = Strongly Agree

The Questionnaire Items

1. I am satisfied with the number of friends I have. ___
2. I feel like I have a reliable group of people I can count on. ___
3. I wish I had more friends who shared my specific interests. ___ (Reverse scored)
4. I am happy with how often I get to socialize with my friends. ___
5. I feel lonely even when I am around my current social circle. ___ (Reverse scored)
6. My friends make an effort to include me in plans and hangouts. ___
7. I feel like an outsider in my main group of friends. ___ (Reverse scored)
8. I have enough friends to go to movies, dinners, or events with. ___
9. I am satisfied with the depth of the conversations I have with my friends. ___
10. I feel like my friendships are mostly superficial or surface-level. ___ (Reverse scored)
11. I have at least one friend I can call in a true midnight emergency. ___
12. I find it difficult to keep in touch with my friends as much as I want to. ___ (Reverse scored)
13. Overall, my social network gives me a strong sense of belonging. ___
14. I feel like I am doing all the work to keep my friendships alive. ___ (Reverse scored)

How to Score the FNS

• Reverse Scoring: For items 3, 5, 7, 10, 12, and 14, flip your score before adding them up (5 becomes 1, 4 becomes 2, 3 stays 3, 2 becomes 4, 1 becomes 5).
• Final Math: Add all 14 numbers together.
• Results: 14–34 indicates low social satisfaction or isolation. 35–55 indicates moderate satisfaction. 56–70 indicates high social satisfaction and a strong support network.

Actionable next steps after reviewing your results:

• Assess Your Friendship: Use your results to determine which of your meaningful connections are at different depths. This helps you set realistic expectations for each friend and avoid trying to make every casual acquaintance a best friend overnight. 
• Reevaluate and Adjust: If your questionnaire highlighted signs of emotional unpredictability or a lack of boundaries, take a moment to process your feelings with a journal, trusted family member or therapist. 
• Evaluate Your Own Habits: Look for areas where you could be more vulnerable, communicate more openly, or show up more consistently.