Nervous System Regulation: Books, Tools, and Resources I Trust

banner image

A Trauma-Informed, Human-Centered Resource Guide

As a licensed mental health professional with over 30 years of experience, one of the most common questions I hear is simple and heartfelt:

“Okay… but what can I actually do to calm my nervous system?”

That question usually comes from people who are tired. Tired of feeling on edge. Tired of feeling shut down or overwhelmed. Tired of being told to just think positively, meditate harder, or push through.

If you have already tried willpower, mindset shifts, or productivity hacks and still feel dysregulated, you are not doing anything wrong. Those approaches often fail because nervous system regulation is not a mindset issue. It is a body issue.

I created this resource list to share gentle, practical, trauma-informed supports for nervous system regulation. These are books, journals, and tools I recommend professionally, use personally, or consistently see clients benefit from.

Regulation is not about forcing yourself to calm down. It is about creating enough safety, choice, and support so your body can settle on its own.

Affiliate disclosure: Some of the links in this article are Amazon affiliate links. This means I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. I only share resources I genuinely trust and recommend, regardless of whether I earn anything from them.

What Nervous System Regulation Really Means

Nervous system regulation is the body’s ability to move between energy and rest without getting stuck. When the nervous system is regulated, you can feel activated and engaged when needed, and also able to rest, soften, and connect.

Many people live with chronic dysregulation because of long-term stress rather than a single event. This can include trauma, burnout, caregiving, racialized stress, financial strain, medical issues, or growing up in environments where safety was inconsistent.

Regulation is not a personality trait and it is not a moral failing. It is a physiological experience shaped by history, environment, and support. When we understand that, shame begins to loosen.

Foundational Books on Nervous System Regulation

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

This is often the first book people encounter when they start learning about trauma and the body. It explains how traumatic experiences live in the nervous system and why talk alone is often not enough.

This book can be validating and intense. I recommend reading it slowly and with care.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143127748

Anchored by Deb Dana

This is one of my most frequently recommended books. Deb Dana makes Polyvagal Theory practical and accessible without overwhelming the reader.

It helps you learn how to notice your nervous system states and gently work with them rather than fight them.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1683642701

Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski

This book reframes burnout as a physiological process rather than a personal failure. It is especially affirming for women, caregivers, and people who have been socialized to ignore their own needs.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/198481706X

Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine

This book introduces somatic approaches to trauma healing and explains how stress responses get trapped in the body.

It is thoughtful and slower paced, which can feel grounding for some readers.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/155643233X

Collective and Racialized Nervous System Regulation

Nervous system regulation does not happen in a vacuum. Our bodies carry cultural memory, collective stress, and survival responses shaped by history, policy, and lived experience. For many people, especially those in Black, Brown, Indigenous, aging, disabled, or otherwise marginalized bodies, regulation cannot be separated from social context.

My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem

This book is essential when talking about nervous system regulation in a racialized and collective context. Resmaa Menakem explains how trauma lives not only in individual bodies, but also in Black bodies and white bodies as a result of historical and ongoing racial violence.

Rather than focusing only on insight or awareness, this book centers embodied practices that support grounding, containment, and regulation at both the personal and collective level.

Many readers find this book validating, challenging, and deeply important. I recommend moving through it slowly and with care.

Amazon link:https://amzn.to/4qNEJJJ 

Journals and Workbooks That Support Regulation

Writing can support nervous system regulation when it is done gently. Trauma-informed journaling is not about pushing yourself to relive painful experiences. It is about helping the nervous system organize experience at a manageable pace.

Trauma-Informed Journals

Look for journals that emphasize choice, safety, and self-trust. Prompts that invite curiosity rather than pressure tend to be more regulating.

One option many people find supportive is a guided self-compassion or trauma-informed journal available through Amazon.

Self-Compassion Workbooks

Workbooks grounded in self-compassion help regulate the nervous system by reducing shame and internal threat. When the inner critic softens, the body often follows.

A widely used option is:

The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462526780

Somatic and Sensory Tools

The nervous system responds directly to sensory input. These tools work with the body rather than trying to override it.

EMDR Tappers and Bilateral Stimulation Tools

These handheld tools provide alternating left and right stimulation, which many people find grounding and calming. They can be helpful during meditation, journaling, or moments of emotional overwhelm.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=emdr+tappers

Weighted and Grounding Tools

Deep pressure can help the body feel contained and supported. Weighted lap pads, eye masks, or blankets can be useful when used intentionally.

The goal is comfort, not restriction.

Meditation and Physical Support

Meditation Cushions and Supportive Seating

When the body is uncomfortable, the nervous system stays alert. Proper physical support can make a big difference.

Meditation cushions or bolsters help reduce strain and allow the body to settle more naturally.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=meditation+cushion

Breath Support

Slow, supported breathing can help signal safety to the nervous system. Guided audio practices or simple pacing tools can be useful, especially for people who find traditional breathwork overwhelming.

Environmental Supports and Blue Light Glasses

Our nervous systems are constantly responding to light, sound, and stimulation.

Blue Light Glasses

Reducing blue light exposure in the evening can support sleep and help the nervous system wind down.

Blue light glasses are not a cure, but many people find them helpful as part of an evening routine.

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=blue+light+blocking+glasses

Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction

Mindfulness can support regulation when it is trauma sensitive and choice based. It is not about forcing yourself to empty your mind. It is about learning how to be present without overwhelming the nervous system.

Practices that emphasize kindness, flexibility, and self pacing tend to be the most supportive.

Regulation Through Nourishment

The nervous system depends on consistent nourishment. When meals are skipped or food becomes another source of stress, regulation becomes harder.

For some people, prepared plant based meals reduce decision fatigue and support steady energy. When nourishment is supported, the nervous system often follows.

I also support a local Black woman owned plant based meal service in my area and share it as a community resource when appropriate.

Link: https://chefbeee.com/genagolden

Cultural and Collective Context

Nervous system regulation does not happen in isolation. Our bodies carry cultural memory, collective stress, and survival strategies shaped by history.

For people in Black, Brown, aging, disabled, or marginalized bodies, regulation often requires validation and community in addition to individual tools.

Resources that honor lived experience matter.

How to Use This List

You do not need everything on this list. Choose one or two supports and use them gently. Notice what your body responds to. Regulation grows through relationship, not force.